I think you need to be under 30 to understand some of these! :-)
1. no1 b4 me. srsly.
2. dnt wrshp pix/idols
3. no omg’s
4. no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r)
5. pos ok – ur m&d r cool
6. dnt kill ppl
7. :-X only w/ m8
8. dnt steal
9. dnt lie re: bf
10. dnt ogle ur bf’s m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.
M, pls rite on tabs & giv 2 ppl.
ttyl, JHWH.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Strange and Funny Signs
Pizza Shop Slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
On a Plumbers truck: "Don't sleep with a drip.Call your plumber."
On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business."
On a Plumbers truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."
On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg.We just want your 'tows'."
On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."
At an Optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At a Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."
At the Electric Company: "We would be 'delighted' if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."
In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up.
At a Propane Filling Station "Tank heaven for little 'grills'."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
On a Plumbers truck: "Don't sleep with a drip.Call your plumber."
On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business."
On a Plumbers truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."
On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg.We just want your 'tows'."
On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."
At an Optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At a Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."
At the Electric Company: "We would be 'delighted' if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."
In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up.
At a Propane Filling Station "Tank heaven for little 'grills'."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
Praise You In This Storm by Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0i5MzJ9nLjo
I was sure by now
God you would have reached down
And wiped our tears away,
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as You mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
I was sure by now
God you would have reached down
And wiped our tears away,
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as You mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
Dust if You MUST! (Proverb I live by! LOL)
Remember...a layer of dust protects the Wood beneath it.
'A house becomes a home when you can write 'I love you' on the furniture.'
I used to spend at least 8 hours every weekend making sure things were just perfect - 'in case someone came over' Finally I realized one day that no-one came over; they were all out living life and having fun! NOW, when people visit, I don't have to explain the 'condition'of my home . They are more interested in hearing about the things I've been doing while I was away living life and having fun.
If you haven't figured this out yet, please heed this advice. Life is short. Enjoy it! Dust if you must .......but wouldn't it be better to paint a picture or write a letter, bake cookies or a cake and lick the spoon or plant a seed, ponder the difference between want and need?!
Dust if you must,but there's not much time . . . . with rivers to swim and mountains to climb, music to hear and books to read, friends to cherish and life to lead.
Dust if you must, but the world's out there with the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair, a flutter of snow, a shower of rain. This day will not come around, again.
And when you go - and go you must - you, yourself will make more dust! It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
'A house becomes a home when you can write 'I love you' on the furniture.'
I used to spend at least 8 hours every weekend making sure things were just perfect - 'in case someone came over' Finally I realized one day that no-one came over; they were all out living life and having fun! NOW, when people visit, I don't have to explain the 'condition'of my home . They are more interested in hearing about the things I've been doing while I was away living life and having fun.
If you haven't figured this out yet, please heed this advice. Life is short. Enjoy it! Dust if you must .......but wouldn't it be better to paint a picture or write a letter, bake cookies or a cake and lick the spoon or plant a seed, ponder the difference between want and need?!
Dust if you must,but there's not much time . . . . with rivers to swim and mountains to climb, music to hear and books to read, friends to cherish and life to lead.
Dust if you must, but the world's out there with the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair, a flutter of snow, a shower of rain. This day will not come around, again.
And when you go - and go you must - you, yourself will make more dust! It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Mothers!
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1 His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1 His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Hilarious Warning Labels! LIKE DUH!
REALLY??
On a Scooter - "This product moves when used."
On a bottle of dog shampoo: "Contents should not be fed to fish."
On a baking pan: "Ovenware will get hot when used in oven."
On a blanket: "Not to be used as protection from a tornado."
On a fishing lure with a three-pronged hook: "Harmful if swallowed."
On a 12-inch CD rack: "Do not use as a ladder."
On a carpenter's drill" "Not intended for use as a dental drill."
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
On a cocktail napkin with a mini map of Hilton Head, South Carolina: "Not to be used for navigation."
On an insect spray: "This product not tested on animals."
Inside a six-inch plastic bag: "Do not climb inside this bad and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury or death."
On a shower cap: "Fits one head."
On a can of pepper spray: "May irritate eyes"
On a toilet" "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."
ON HAIRDRYER INSTRUCTIONS: - Do not use while sleeping.
ON A BAG OF FRITOS: - You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: - Directions: Use like regular soap.
ON A FROZEN DINNER: - Serving suggestion: Defrost.
ON TESCO'S TIRIMISU DESERT: - Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON: - Do not Iron clothes on body.
ON BOOTS CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE: - Do not drive car or operate machinery.
ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID): - Warning: may cause drowsiness.
ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: - Warning keep out of children.
ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: - For indoor or outdoor use only.
ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS: - Warning: contains nuts.
ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS: - Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW: - Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
ON A PACKET OF SUNMAID RAISINS: - Why not try tossing over your favorite breakfast cereal?
These made me laugh today - especially the Duh Moment ones. I did think of some of the instructions that God has given us though that we totally ignore. We somehow don't think that they apply to us: Loving our neighbors as ourselves, the 10 commandments, the Be attitudes and more. What is your label saying about you today? Have you taken inventory lately to see what you are projecting?
On a Scooter - "This product moves when used."
On a bottle of dog shampoo: "Contents should not be fed to fish."
On a baking pan: "Ovenware will get hot when used in oven."
On a blanket: "Not to be used as protection from a tornado."
On a fishing lure with a three-pronged hook: "Harmful if swallowed."
On a 12-inch CD rack: "Do not use as a ladder."
On a carpenter's drill" "Not intended for use as a dental drill."
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
On a cocktail napkin with a mini map of Hilton Head, South Carolina: "Not to be used for navigation."
On an insect spray: "This product not tested on animals."
Inside a six-inch plastic bag: "Do not climb inside this bad and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury or death."
On a shower cap: "Fits one head."
On a can of pepper spray: "May irritate eyes"
On a toilet" "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."
ON HAIRDRYER INSTRUCTIONS: - Do not use while sleeping.
ON A BAG OF FRITOS: - You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: - Directions: Use like regular soap.
ON A FROZEN DINNER: - Serving suggestion: Defrost.
ON TESCO'S TIRIMISU DESERT: - Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON: - Do not Iron clothes on body.
ON BOOTS CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE: - Do not drive car or operate machinery.
ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID): - Warning: may cause drowsiness.
ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: - Warning keep out of children.
ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: - For indoor or outdoor use only.
ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS: - Warning: contains nuts.
ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS: - Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW: - Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
ON A PACKET OF SUNMAID RAISINS: - Why not try tossing over your favorite breakfast cereal?
These made me laugh today - especially the Duh Moment ones. I did think of some of the instructions that God has given us though that we totally ignore. We somehow don't think that they apply to us: Loving our neighbors as ourselves, the 10 commandments, the Be attitudes and more. What is your label saying about you today? Have you taken inventory lately to see what you are projecting?
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Love
It has certainly been a while since I last blogged. My son HAS GRADUATED from high school! On his prom night he was so sick and ended up in the hospital with heat stroke! No better place he could have been on his prom night! LOL
I have been to Charlottetown PE for a union seminar, been "up west" to visit my Grammy, been to Ottawa (my mom and dad came with me), visited with an old friend and a cousin while there, been to camp for an evening....camps are now over...and still...life goes on! Wow, life certainly happens quickly. I heard a sermon preached once (I think by Bro. Woodward) and he tried to convey about the speed of light and speed of life.....how the older we get the faster it goes! I'm really believing that now....I wonder how Sharon feels about it?....cause she's older than me you know! LOL
We had a beautiful summer day yesterday...the first I think....I took the afternoon off and went to the beach! Vicki, Michaela and Madison came with me and we had a lovely time!
I found this pic...thought you would enjoy....
And this pic! .. Not one among us is Perfect,...and yet, we, each, are Loved!
and....this one....HUH?????
Pic below is from my son's prom night....pics before the walk down!
I have been to Charlottetown PE for a union seminar, been "up west" to visit my Grammy, been to Ottawa (my mom and dad came with me), visited with an old friend and a cousin while there, been to camp for an evening....camps are now over...and still...life goes on! Wow, life certainly happens quickly. I heard a sermon preached once (I think by Bro. Woodward) and he tried to convey about the speed of light and speed of life.....how the older we get the faster it goes! I'm really believing that now....I wonder how Sharon feels about it?....cause she's older than me you know! LOL
We had a beautiful summer day yesterday...the first I think....I took the afternoon off and went to the beach! Vicki, Michaela and Madison came with me and we had a lovely time!
I found this pic...thought you would enjoy....
And this pic! .. Not one among us is Perfect,...and yet, we, each, are Loved!
and....this one....HUH?????
Pic below is from my son's prom night....pics before the walk down!
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